• Agreed with you, Nelton. Parents must become a friend to their children after a certain age or else the children start thinking of them as either a burden or an imposition.

    • Exactly. Parents should be friends forever.

  • Fab

    This was a really touching post, Nelton. You seem to be mature about the whole situation and dealt with it quite well! I guess, quite a few dads of that generation had trouble getting really involved in their kids’ lives. But you’re absolutely right – there should be a balance between ‘parenting’ and ‘friending’ too much of either is going to hurt in the long run!

    • Thanks Fab. Yes, my dad belongs to a certain generation – the one only time can change 🙂

      I see many similarities between parenting and gardening. Too much of water, manure or sunlight does harm. Hence there should be a control. Also different plants flower in different seasons taking their own sweet time. Same with children.

  • A heart-felt post… Well it looked like I was reading a friend’s story. He too always had the same revulsion against his father beacuse he had set a number of rules and regulations and the hate grew . Basically too many expectations from children takes us away from them. It very important that we give an environment to the child where he/she feels that they will be heard. Parents should check for the wrongs but in a way that doesnt make the child feel less loved or cared. There has to be a balance and thats where a great deal of balancing is required.

    • Thanks Manjulika.

      Theres a lot of difference when a parent corrects and a friend corrects, This is something parents should learn. The basic rule is lets children be children. No matter what you do you can never get those years back.

  • I felt as if you are narrating my story. The only difference is that you are the only child and I’m the elder! Dad has started changing, but I am still afraid of him. Every time he calls me, I think for few seconds before taking his call.

    • That too rings a bell. Whenever my dad used to call up home and I received the call I only said one thing, “Hello Dada, speak to Mama.” 🙂