Putrarthe Kriyathe Varja is an ancient Sanskrit phrase which means, “we marry with the sole aim to have a son to keep the clan progressing”. This was the blessings that one of the relatives of my friend gave her some few days back.
And blessings in its more refined version kept coming at her till she finally conceived. What shocked me was none of the relatives (read aged 60+) actually blessed her with a baby girl or just a healthy baby! She was lucky to have a broad-minded family in the environment full of ancient thoughts and beliefs.
What is even more shocking is that such ancient thought process is still finding place in the hearts and minds of 21st century India. India, where most grandparents know to operate a cell phone, where women from various strata of society nowadays are employed and earning and are making a mark in their respective fields, where things around them have drastically changed, standard of living has increased but the thinking and the thought process have not changed. In spite of they themselves being a viewer of the change in society, it is surprising that they stick to this old age idiom so rigidly.
Extremely lucky are those who have very supportive in-laws, who do not differentiate between a boy and a girl and who are not obsessed with this nonsense. Even there are cases of high society people going for sex determination tests, having drugs like Misoprostol and so on only to find out whether the child is a boy or a girl. The amount of education doesn’t matter here (report). It seems that even if you have all the degrees in the world, the learning will only fall on deaf ears. This is one of the instances where our education system has failed drastically. And then to make it worse you have daily soaps like ‘Balika Vadhu’ airing prime time on national television!! It simply cannot get worst than this.
Despite of many living women role models in front of us, the majority still prefers a boy child because they feel he will carry forward the name of the family and look after parents in their old age while the girl will get married and go to another family. There are in fact so many examples before us that girls remain emotionally attached to their parents even after they get married while it is the boys who tend to go away or just be there out of a sense of duty, but people don’t seem to understand this.
What is more astonishing is Putrarthe Kriyathe Varja is also being followed in America! – The most advanced and developed nations of all. The recent poll conducted also voices the similar views, raising the preference for a boy over a girl child. And this is not the end. There are many polls, reports etc. which lay claim on the said fact.
So what can be the possible reasons for such a trend? (which are orthodox but still prevalent)
- Family and peer pressure for a baby boy for obvious reason
- Girls still considered as a liability (marriage, dowry)
- Boy will brighten their family’s name whereas a girl won’t
- Old age support
- Don’t want the embarrassment and shame that comes towards the family when the girl child faces any violence against her
And what can be the possible solutions?
- Grassroots literary camps must be organised targeting the change in the mindset of the people
- Constant advertising through various communication mediums
- Tougher laws
- Some incentives for raising a girl child so as to bring the skewed sex ratio to an equilibrium
But more importantly it is the family values that needs a recheck on most of the factors especially this differentiation between a girl child and a boy child even before s/he has come to earth.
Also, if one girl can brighten up the house, two light it up like a bright summer morning. So which parent would not like to have such joy in their life?
Time has definitely come to say bye-bye to this age-old idiom of Putrarthe Kriyathe Varja and say YES to girl child.
Hetal Kachalia is a preschool teacher in the morning and a dotting home maker by the evening. She blogs at http://ponderingtwo.blogspot.in.
Loading ...
Whenever I read articles like these I feel ashamed of the kind of world that we’re living in (won’t say society as it is omnipresent. Also I feel happy that I personally have never faced such a situation. Our relatives (my family and my husband’s family) always wanted a healthy baby. My daughter has thankfully never faced any kind of discrimination and neither have I. I feel blessed
. Hope we’re able to change the mindset of the society we live in.
Well its really going to be an uphill task of changing the mindset of people. Though they have evolved through the years, their minset, thinking seems to be stuck at the times of Homo Sapiens. Sad but I really feel it is.
And as I said, extremely lucky are those who have a broad minded and supporting family. Must cherish this life like never before.
It is a cruel reality of our society ( not just rural) that girls are being selectively killed before being born. We need to start a mass movement against this. We can learn a lot from Matriarchal society of parts of Kerala and some of North East states of India where since the girl inherits the property she is valued. All the points that you mention… dowry, liability, taking care in old age all boil down to money. Sad but true.
I hope this is the last generation where we are killing our girls, as for next there may not be any left to kill due to irreversible skewing in sex ratio.
Completely agree with you. We need a massive social upheaval of socilety along with constant efforts to wake these people up from their deep slumber.
Absolutely great post…
I too have a friend whose in-laws told her not to be even think or talk about a girl child coz they feared that it was a bad omen and could lead to the birth of a girl child…. these sumbags need to be educated rightly.
In my last post, I have too emphasised this fact that girls need to be whole-heartedly accepted in the society and should be dealt with as a princess… they are bundles of joy and they remain a daughter forever their life.
First of all thank you so much for appreciating the post.
Completely agree with you Manjulika… I feel insead of progressing as a society we are moving backwards day by day. It is really shamefull as a society that girls are being considered as a bad omen. Time to shake up people from deep slumber..
It is there in every society where there is a hint of conservativeness. Any patriarchial society will want sons to propagate the family name. Hopefully, that concept is slowly changing
People are conservative but excessive conservatism is leading to the killings of girl child. This cannot be called conservative by any means. I seriously doubt about the change in this concept. Need few good social campaigns to have some positive effect on various social evils.
Awesome post!
Its so true that so many of our traditions reflect the “Purush Pradhan” society..:(
Times have changed a lot since our mothers but a lot needs to be done still.
Happy Women’s Day
http://shaivikafunda.blogspot.in/2013/03/happy-womens-day.html
Rightly said. Times have changed but where as a society we are heading is to ponder upon..
What more I can say than that We opted for a single child and that too a daughter. Our parents never questioned or objected to our decision. My daughter is receiving all the love attention that is her right.
Blessed is a family who has a daughter!