Of Mother, Schooling And Dilemmas

Few months back, I was apprehensive of sending my daughter to school. My anxiety, dilemma and indecisiveness were making me paranoid. To certain extent, still I am.

Of Mother, Schooling and Dilemmas

Starting the school routine to me, was like pushing her to face the world, all by herself. Failing and succeeding on daily basis. Knowing how it feels not getting the whole attention. Expressing her needs. Getting disciplined. Knowing boundaries.

Silently I vowed not to send my daughter until she turns 5. I never had much faith in our education system anyways, and that once prompted me to never send her to school, instead educating her at home in more scientific, holistic and interactive way. Academic, to me is always overrated. I never believed in marks. I had this rebellion in me who kept telling me to challenge the existing education system. Yes, the foolish me sometimes turns rebellion only to get diluted by somewhat rational me.

At times of confusion, I try to approach the problem from an outsiders point of view. I tend to cut myself away from the situation and try to see it as a person who is not a stakeholder in the entire situation. It usually helps, in putting the things back in perspective.

The outsider me calmed my protagonist self. I realized, it is not about what I feel about the entire situation, it is also how will my daughter take this.

The cartoons, other kids and story books had already started making fancy pictures in her tiny brain. She wanted to explore. She wanted to be the part of the outer world. Meet new people and make few acquaintances. She was ready in thoughts to see faces other than her mom and dad.

Moreover, the enthusiasm in her needs to be cultivated. The schools/kindergarten/activity center only can provide environment and equipments for group activities, social skills, basic mannerism, fine motor skills, communications and likewise. No matter how much I try, I can never replicate the same at home. Also, I cannot be guilty of not channelizing her energy to a creative medium.

Yes, she will have challenges. I will have fear. We will have issues. But, confining her to home will be too easy a solution.

I took her to couple of pre-schools to check her comfort level. She seemed more ready than what I was. She started taking more interest in school accessories than regular toys. “Mujhe school jana hai” became a regular chant.

I bought school bags, lunch boxes and water bottles thereby preparing myself to send her off to school. The outsider point of view kept consoling me, sending encouragements when needed. Finally, the outsider won and Mother took a step back reluctantly.

Starting 3rd January 2013, she had started going school. Dressed in pink polka-dotted tunic, angry bird school bag and Winnie-the-pooh water bottle. Class: Playgroup , Division: Kitten.

Amrita Thavrani is a mother to a two year old daughter. She writes children stories at thestoryhook.blogspot.com. Say hello to her while strolling at the tweet street @TheSeeSawMother.

  • Sigh! I think we never want these little birds of ours to go out from the cozy nests ,do we?my now two year 4 month old is going to playgroup since she was 20 months old. She loves it and I spent the 2 hours she ‘s gone waiting for her to come back safe n sound to me .. It takes time for the mothers to get used to it..

    • Amrita Thavrani

      20 months ? You surprised me 🙂 Yes, I hope to get eventually accustomed with this new setup.

  • Ah! How sweet. I can imagine how many fotos you guys must have taken of her polka dress and angry birds bag!! Homeschooling is great and all but one thing that she will miss out is being part of the group with other kids. That’s valuable!

    • Amrita Thavrani

      Yes Divya, Photos have clicked, tears have been wiped and fears have been hidden 🙂

  • I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way when I had to get ready to send my daughter to formal school. The one year she spent at Playschool I lived through, only to end up half a wreck when it was time for kindergarten. But don’t you worry, Amrita. School and classmates and teachers are all very well. But nothing will take away from the fact that you are and will always be her first teacher.

    • Amrita Thavrani

      Thanks for the encouraging words Cynthia. Yes, we all are eventually sailing the same boat. Stories of this journey helps us feel confident 🙂

  • The long road to raising a child has many milestones. Each milestone represents a journey covered and signifies the journey ahead. This perhaps is one such!

    Enjoyed the read

    • Amrita Thavrani

      Yes Kavi, you said it. Considering it as a “Milestone” is a more rational approach.

  • I have been through what you wrote in the third paragraph, exactly the same emotions. But then I thought what about the school experience. It is one of the best phases of everyone’s life, isn’t it? Even I am considering playschool at 2.5 years. It is 1 year to go but I have already started worrying! Now he is with me 24X7. I have neve left him with anyone except his dad, and that too can be counted on fingers. I think I am going to sit outside the playschool! Ha ha ha! But yes, I definitely want him to be able to express (speak) before he goes out in the big bad world. I don’t know what they do at playschools, but I just want my baby to have fun, and expand his horizons!