Nagging vs. Caring
It was a short flight from Delhi to Mumbai, only about an hour and half. The moment I had settled in my seat a lady requested me if I can exchange the seat with her so that she and her son can sit together. I normally pay a bit extra to get the aisle seat so that one can stand and stretch if the legs get tired, but since this was a short flight I agreed, after all who wants to deprive a mother spend some time with her little baby boy, or so I thought and agreed to vacate my seat next to her so that her son can come and sit next to her.
I must admit here that when she said son I thought a little boy of may be 5-7 years old who has been given a seat away from the mom due to a mistake by the airline staff. She told me the seat no. of her son and I reached their only to find a 16-year-old young man in the seat. His mother was calling him but he refused to budge from his seat, and very politely for a 16-year-old told me that he does not want to change seats.
Now I was in a fix what to do, suddenly the mom waved her hand and asked him to move, the poor boy obliged and reluctantly moved next to the mother. I was only 5 rows behind them and was a bit amused at this. But then I brushed it aside as a typical teenage behavior who doesn’t want to be seen with their parents. But there was more to come, the moment the boy has settled in the seat the mom started badgering him with suggestions.
My apologies for snooping on a private conversation but unlike eyes ears do not have lids and am sure everybody in the plane heard them.
1. You want to read magazine, then switch on the light on top of you.
2. Once the air hostess were coming around she immediately ordered water for the boy and also requested some candies for the kid.
3. Then she wanted to know what the boy wants to eat, he said he is not hungry, but she insisted so he said whatever and the mom after interrogating the air hostess ordered some kathi rolls for him. Which he barely nibbled and rest was dumped.
4. Then came why he doesn’t sleep for some time so that he arrives fresh in Mumbai.
All this while the boy showed a lot of restraint but was definitely irritated with the constant attention and suggestion and must be wondering when they will reach the destination so that finally he can lock himself in a room or just go out and hang out with friends.
I am sure we all know parents like these who just take the pampering to the other end and forget the difference between caring and nagging. Also a very clear distinction needs to be made here, when you are dealing with a toddler she may be cajoled to do a few things till a point, but one needs to learn to respect the young adults and give them space.
Is it not ironic that on one hand we want our kids to grow up and take responsibility and on second we do not even believe that they can decide on simple things? While each parent child relationship is unique and has its own dynamics but I do feel if you keep on nagging on small things you lose your ability to impact the big things.
Would love to hear your thoughts on the same.
Sasha and Prasad Np are proud parents of 2 girls whom they fondly call Princess (11 yrs in Feb 13) and Pinkette (4 yrs next month). He wears many hats after taking a break from being corner office critter for a long time. He is now entrepreneur, blogger, photographer, traveler and an investor in startups with unique concepts. He blogs at Desi Traveler, and can be reached at Facebook and Twitter.